Last year, my sister came to visit for a few days. I always enjoy our short time together and make the most of her visits; we rarely get to see each other. When she visits, we act like two teenagers, we laugh like no one’s watching. My sisters and I have a close relationship. We are so close that nothing is off limits! We are great at borrowing each other’s lipsticks, wearing each other’s clothing and taking left over wigs! Just so you know, we care little about germs in this family.
I have always admired the confidence in both of my sisters. They have always loved and embraced their natural selves. On the other hand, your girl was always into fashion and would spend tremendous amount of money on an important aspect of herself…her hair! I found myself glued to wigs 🙂
When I became a Christian, I did not just start loving myself immediately. It was a process and still is. For most of my adult life, the enemy planted a lie in my head which I struggled to get rid of. The lie that my thick, strong, afro hair was somewhat ugly plagued my mind for years. The moment I had the freedom to cover my hair with weaves and wigs, I grabbed at this opportunity. It made me feel beautiful.
You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44 NIVT
When God called me, He called me as I was and I accepted His call. I still felt the need to hide my hair from the world. You see that’s the thing about coming to Christ. You come as you are! You come with all those horrible thoughts and feelings. Initially, you struggle to let go of the old you, but through the power of the Holy Spirit you will be transformed daily into the image of God.
And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV
Do not conform
There is such beauty in having an honest relationship with God. Like any other relationship, my relationship with God was lukewarm at first. However, as we got to know each other, we became more open. As we grew closer, I discussed how I felt about wanting to love myself. I asked him to teach me how to love every part of my being. I no longer wanted to be known as the girl who loved hair and make-up. I wanted to be known as the girl who loves God. I no longer wanted to be conformed to the standards and patterns of this world. I wanted my mind to be transformed.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 NIV
Back to my sister’s visit
As we sat on the sofa watching the television, we heard a voice in the back garden. A friend had popped into visit my husband. Normally, if someone was paying us a visit my other half would give me a five minuite wig warning, but seemed to have forgotten! So your girl freaked out! Where was my wig? Like a ninja, I flew over my sofa and crawled upstairs. My sister was in shock! She couldn’t believe that her sissy had those moves! I almost broke my neck to get to this wig! We laughed so loudly when I returned downstairs looking like Beyonce.
A few months later, I made the decision to commence my natural hair journey. I had comdemned this hair so much, I felt it was impossible to grow. The world had also condemned this hair for some time too, but I was no longer of the world. I was now a child of God and with His help I was going to love this hair. I wanted to believe what God said about me.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalms 139:13-14 NIV
As I developed a better relationship with my hair, I realised I was slowly falling in love with my new image. I no longer glimpsed at my hair in the mirror, I now played with it. I would even say a hair growth prayer and comb my invisible lengths! I would ask God to grant me the courage to embrace it as it grows. It was the beginning of me loving myself in a new way and I was loving it!
After a year, something amazing happened. On October 1st 2019, I finally saw what God saw. I saw hair that was strong and beautiful. I was no longer deceived by the enemy and no longer believed his lies. I finally found the courage to share a photo of my natural hair to the world. I finally wore my natural hair in public. God had transformed my mind to see what He had always seen.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Romans 8:37 NIV
A new creation
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV
At this very moment, my heart is smiling as I have never felt more beautiful. Also, I no longer have to shout, “Where’s my wig? ” Do you know how many times I answered my doorbell with my wig back to front? Those poor delivery men probably thought I was having too many bad days .
Today, I can finally walk out the door without a wig. I can finally choose to wear my wig if I want to and not because I have to. Most importantly, I can wear my natural hair knowing that I am who God says I am…this is me!
Today, my prayer is that you burn every lie the enemy has planted in you. Let the Holy Spirit plant a fire in you that will destroy the work of the enemy.
May you no longer be deceived by the lies of the enemy. May you see yourself the way God sees you. May God help you to love every part of your being.
May we no longer be conformed to the patterns of this world, but transform our minds Lord. Heavenly Father, transform us into your image daily.
May God richly bless you and thank you for reading.